Sometimes, in my head, I write fake letters to my husband. Most often when he annoys me. Today, it would be this:
Dear husband,
I love you dearly. Immensely, even. However, it is annoying that you fail to use all the technology at your disposal to alert me that you are, indeed, still living. For a man who spends approximately 3 hours reading each and every Boston-themed sports blog known to man, I would appreciate a reply text at least once a day. I don't mind sending my texts, calls, and emails into the ether, but when I text "are you alive?" please reply in the affirmative. That is, of course, providing the answer is affirmative. Otherwise, please reply "no."
Sincerely,
Your doting wife
